Comments on: Nurturing My Marriage Through Prison http://prisonnewsblog.com/2009/09/nurturing-my-marriage-through-prison/ Prison News and Commentary Tue, 01 Feb 2011 19:56:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: JJ http://prisonnewsblog.com/2009/09/nurturing-my-marriage-through-prison/comment-page-1/#comment-945 JJ Fri, 15 Jan 2010 04:15:09 +0000 http://prisonnewsblog.com/?p=641#comment-945 Several years ago I was reacquainted with someone from childhood. I had no desire to see him; he had just completed 6 years for theft of means. From the moment I saw him, I was struck. We had 9 months of warmth, love and so much more that it overwhelmed me. Then it was over in a moment. Meth and heroin took him back. Right now I sit in a downtown hotel room, waiting for 8:15AM court. With multiple charges, mostly drug related, he is looking at 6+ years. The last two years have been me chasing him. And him with a pull me in (money, using me), to out of the blue proposing. We spent two weeks this Christmas of him going cold turkey then running back to the life style, and being arrested and unbondable. It took him 4 days to finally call collect from jail. When asked him why it took so long to call, he said he didn’t think I would talk to him. I assured him that I remain by his side and would be at court in the morning. He could only respond “really” “really and truly?” I think that this may be a common story for many a women. The man pushes and pushes away the one that loves them. Why put them through this? What do they have to offer: nothing. She really won’t wait. No one else ever has. What will it take. What is it that turned you or others to change your habit or what I’m asking is change your attitude. Several years ago I was reacquainted with someone from childhood. I had no desire to see him; he had just completed 6 years for theft of means. From the moment I saw him, I was struck. We had 9 months of warmth, love and so much more that it overwhelmed me. Then it was over in a moment. Meth and heroin took him back. Right now I sit in a downtown hotel room, waiting for 8:15AM court. With multiple charges, mostly drug related, he is looking at 6+ years. The last two years have been me chasing him. And him with a pull me in (money, using me), to out of the blue proposing. We spent two weeks this Christmas of him going cold turkey then running back to the life style, and being arrested and unbondable.
It took him 4 days to finally call collect from jail. When asked him why it took so long to call, he said he didn’t think I would talk to him. I assured him that I remain by his side and would be at court in the morning. He could only respond “really” “really and truly?”
I think that this may be a common story for many a women. The man pushes and pushes away the one that loves them. Why put them through this? What do they have to offer: nothing. She really won’t wait. No one else ever has.
What will it take. What is it that turned you or others to change your habit or what I’m asking is change your attitude.

]]> By: LaShea Dowd http://prisonnewsblog.com/2009/09/nurturing-my-marriage-through-prison/comment-page-1/#comment-936 LaShea Dowd Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:22:36 +0000 http://prisonnewsblog.com/?p=641#comment-936 I would like to say what a relief it is to read the information you have written about relationships within prison walls. I have a story much like yours. I was reunited with a highschool sweetheart after 18 years. It was at first exciting to visit him and to catch up on lost time. But as our relationship grew deeper the harder it has become emotionally. I do not get to visit him as often as I would like do to the fact I live in another state but our time together is priceless. I left him behind yesterday. I am having such a hard time returning home. I can't function for having the deep feelings and desires that I have for him. How do you express the feelings you have for someone when the word "love" doesnt even begin to describe your feelings. The fact that there is no phissical aspect in our relationship I believe has allowed us to open ourselves up and comunicate our feelings unlike many outside relationships. I know men in general have a hard time expressing their feelings, but James has found it deep inside himeself to express to me every day how very much he loves me. And I truly feel that it will continue even after his release. Our love is stronger than anything I have ever felt. He will be released soon and worries and concerns have crossed my mind. Will he be able to get a job, how can I help him with the transition from prison walls to comming home with me? If you have any suggestions please let me know how I can make this as easy as possible on him. LD I would like to say what a relief it is to read the information you have written about relationships within prison walls. I have a story much like yours. I was reunited with a highschool sweetheart after 18 years. It was at first exciting to visit him and to catch up on lost time. But as our relationship grew deeper the harder it has become emotionally. I do not get to visit him as often as I would like do to the fact I live in another state but our time together is priceless. I left him behind yesterday. I am having such a hard time returning home. I can’t function for having the deep feelings and desires that I have for him. How do you express the feelings you have for someone when the word “love” doesnt even begin to describe your feelings. The fact that there is no phissical aspect in our relationship I believe has allowed us to open ourselves up and comunicate our feelings unlike many outside relationships. I know men in general have a hard time expressing their feelings, but James has found it deep inside himeself to express to me every day how very much he loves me. And I truly feel that it will continue even after his release. Our love is stronger than anything I have ever felt. He will be released soon and worries and concerns have crossed my mind. Will he be able to get a job, how can I help him with the transition from prison walls to comming home with me? If you have any suggestions please let me know how I can make this as easy as possible on him.

LD

]]> By: Chris Miller http://prisonnewsblog.com/2009/09/nurturing-my-marriage-through-prison/comment-page-1/#comment-892 Chris Miller Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:32:07 +0000 http://prisonnewsblog.com/?p=641#comment-892 Hey: I don't know if this is really relevant to your purposes, but while I was going through my grad program at Regent U, I designed a class for use in prison for prisoners and their wives, to begin about 6 months prior to release, to start rebuilding their marriages. It was partially based on my own experiences but also a lot of research, with interpersonal communication skills at the center. The idea was that the last few months before arrest are usually so horrible, with hubby on this notorious no holes barred downhill slide, that arrest is a relief to all.However, often the wife is left absent the codependent other and now must learn to fend for herself.And she does, marshalls resources, grows strong, so by the time the husband is ready to get out the kids are all eager but she begins to get depressed, because her last memories are bad, she didn't like herself then, and she likes herself now. That is why marriages fall apart after prison terms rather than during them. I never had the opportunity to offer this class, since reentry and reintegration was not the priority it seems to be getting to be in some places anyway today. But I wonder if it would be any use to you? cm Hey: I don’t know if this is really relevant to your purposes, but while I was going through my grad program at Regent U, I designed a class for use in prison for prisoners and their wives, to begin about 6 months prior to release, to start rebuilding their marriages. It was partially based on my own experiences but also a lot of research, with interpersonal communication skills at the center. The idea was that the last few months before arrest are usually so horrible, with hubby on this notorious no holes barred downhill slide, that arrest is a relief to all.However, often the wife is left absent the codependent other and now must learn to fend for herself.And she does, marshalls resources, grows strong, so by the time the husband is ready to get out the kids are all eager but she begins to get depressed, because her last memories are bad, she didn’t like herself then, and she likes herself now. That is why marriages fall apart after prison terms rather than during them.

I never had the opportunity to offer this class, since reentry and reintegration was not the priority it seems to be getting to be in some places anyway today. But I wonder if it would be any use to you?

cm

]]> By: Rae James http://prisonnewsblog.com/2009/09/nurturing-my-marriage-through-prison/comment-page-1/#comment-876 Rae James Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:04:41 +0000 http://prisonnewsblog.com/?p=641#comment-876 I am so amazed and inspired by your words. I know you are speaking to those who are in a similiar position as you, however, reading about the love you and Carole share and your constant consideration of one another makes me realize that is the foundation for all relationships. I have you both in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing that you are granted a release as soon as possible! Blessing to you both! I am so amazed and inspired by your words. I know you are speaking to those who are in a similiar position as you, however, reading about the love you and Carole share and your constant consideration of one another makes me realize that is the foundation for all relationships. I have you both in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing that you are granted a release as soon as possible! Blessing to you both!

]]> By: Reesy Floyd-Thompson http://prisonnewsblog.com/2009/09/nurturing-my-marriage-through-prison/comment-page-1/#comment-845 Reesy Floyd-Thompson Mon, 12 Oct 2009 12:30:14 +0000 http://prisonnewsblog.com/?p=641#comment-845 People who are able to maintain relationships in spite of prison are the true embodiment of commitment and sacrifice. People who are able to maintain relationships in spite of prison are the true embodiment of commitment and sacrifice.

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