Others with whom I was associated in drug trafficking received sentences that were only a fraction of the length of mine. Some of those people cooperated with the government in exchange for more lenient sentences, and others lacked the level of culpability I had as one of the leaders of the scheme. I do not blame or begrudge any of my co-defendants. As far as I have always been concerned, I created my own problems.

I do not agree that long prison sentences are appropriate for offenders who have no history of violence. My crimes involved only consenting adults, yet I serve a sentence that is longer than many predatory offenders. Yet the length of time that other people serve has no relationship to what is going on in my life. I created my own problems.

Now I am nearly 45 years old and I have more than 21 years of prison behind me; I still expect to serve more than three more years. The time I have served inside has not crippled my spirit. In fact, many people who know me would say that I have sailed through the sentence unscathed. That has been my intention, to serve my sentence with dignity and integrity. I strive to make every day count, to contribute to the lives of others, to add value to the world.

Naturally, I want to leave prison. During the many years that I have served I have been blessed with multiple opportunities. I earned an undergraduate degree from Mercer University and a graduate degree from Hofstra University. I published several books that have helped me build a wide network of support. Most importantly, I have built a thriving marriage with an exceptionally beautiful and talented woman. These blessings have given me much to feel proud of, and they encourage me for the life I want to lead upon release.

As a long-term prisoner, I have had to fight the urge to feel sorry for myself. By embracing the sentence, I could focus on how I wanted to respond to the problems that I created. Otherwise I would feel like a whiner, a cry baby in prison. I serve time with a lot of people who whine about how they do not belong in prison. To me, that seems like the wrong approach. I do not want to be remembered for the problems I created, but rather I strive to be recognized for the way that I have responded to the problems I created. Somehow, that approach empowers me, makes me feel less like a victim of the system and more like I control my destiny. It has been an adjustment pattern that works for me.

The post Reflecting on the Long Prison Sentence I Serve appeared first on Prison News Blog.

Many young people who engage in drug trafficking come from communities without much hope. Although difficult backgrounds may not excuse such decisions, they make the choices easier to understand. People who do not perceive choices they can make to advance their lives in legitimate ways sometimes choose crime as an alternative. Yet in my case, I had viable options that could have led to success. My parents reared my sisters and me in affluence. They were business owners who expected that I follow their example of hard work. Yet I lacked the character as a younger man to make good decisions. It was much easier for me to pursue the high life that came with trafficking in cocaine.

Rather than choosing the more responsible path to maturity, I chose excitement. I was not a drug abuser myself, and my social circle did not expose me to the devastation that drugs bring at the user level. My influences were shows like Miami Vice and movies like Scarface. While in my early 20s, I wrongfully pursued the quick path to perceived riches. Those decisions brought consequences that I failed to appreciate until long after I was caught by the DEA.

Upon my arrest, I continued to make bad decisions. I had never been imprisoned before and I was not ready to accept responsibility for my crimes. That resulted in my making bad decisions like pursuing a trial rather than a plea agreement that could have resulted in a lower sanction. I did not understand the criminal justice system or the options that were available to me. Because of that ignorance, I made choices that resulted in much stiffer penalties.

Since I have been in prison I have worked hard and consistently to reconcile with society for the bad decisions I made. I also strive to help others who are about to encounter the criminal justice system or prison. By reading my writings, I hope to help those individuals make better decisions.

The post Why I Regret that I Sold Cocaine and Fought the Criminal Charges appeared first on Prison News Blog.

While languishing in my prison cell, I realized the humiliation that I had caused my family and the disappointment that I had caused others in my community. Somehow, I wanted to reconcile with society. I wanted to undo the harm that I had caused by selling cocaine. The only manner I saw in which I could make a difference, I thought, was to educate myself. I wanted to develop communication skills, as I believed that by communicating, I could express my remorse and perhaps help others make better decisions than I had made as a younger man.

Those reflections led me to make a commitment. Although I could not comprehend the magnitude of a 45-year prison term, I could think about what I wanted to accomplish during my first decade of confinement. By working to educate myself, I would start the journey of becoming a positive role model. I felt fortunate to find universities that would work with me, despite my imprisonment. In 1992, Mercer University awarded me an undergraduate degree, and in 1995, Hofstra University awarded me a graduate degree. With those academic credentials, I felt as if I could speak for change and prison reform with more credibility.

During the many years that I served following my formal academic program, I thought about the steps I could take to reach others. Writing about my experiences, I hoped, would expose the consequences that followed criminal decisions. When I was making the bad decision to engage in drug trafficking, I never really considered that a criminal prosecution would be a part of my life. Many of the-people I have met in prison, even those convicted of white collar crimes, lived with similar delusions. Yet as a man who has experienced more than 21 years in prison, I now stand convinced that this system does not discriminate. Prosecutors will go after anyone who breaks the law, and those who are convicted will sacrifice much that others take for granted.

Cooperating with the prosecution was not an option that I was willing to consider, yet I should have accepted responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges against me. I knew that I had broken the law. Had I acted more responsibly, my sanction would not have been so severe. All in all, though, I am convinced that the long sentence I am serving will be a persuasive point as I work to convince others to make better decisions. Through articles I publish at www.criminal-indictment.com, I stand qualified to show others the whole journey because I have lived it.

The post Prison Led me to Reflect, Repent, and Reform appeared first on Prison News Blog.