Why I Regret that I Sold Cocaine and Fought the Criminal Charges
When I was 21-years-old I joined a group of friends in a scheme to sell cocaine. That was a terrible decision that changed the course of my life. For nearly two years, I was deeply involved in setting up a network that transported the cocaine and distributed it through a supply chain. Those actions resulted in my criminal indictment, convictions, a lengthy sentence, and humiliation for my family. I have been incarcerated for more than 21 years thus far as a consequence of the bad decisions I made as a younger man. Certainly, I regret the choices I made.
Many young people who engage in drug trafficking come from communities without much hope. Although difficult backgrounds may not excuse such decisions, they make the choices easier to understand. People who do not perceive choices they can make to advance their lives in legitimate ways sometimes choose crime as an alternative. Yet in my case, I had viable options that could have led to success. My parents reared my sisters and me in affluence. They were business owners who expected that I follow their example of hard work. Yet I lacked the character as a younger man to make good decisions. It was much easier for me to pursue the high life that came with trafficking in cocaine.
Rather than choosing the more responsible path to maturity, I chose excitement. I was not a drug abuser myself, and my social circle did not expose me to the devastation that drugs bring at the user level. My influences were shows like Miami Vice and movies like Scarface. While in my early 20s, I wrongfully pursued the quick path to perceived riches. Those decisions brought consequences that I failed to appreciate until long after I was caught by the DEA.
Upon my arrest, I continued to make bad decisions. I had never been imprisoned before and I was not ready to accept responsibility for my crimes. That resulted in my making bad decisions like pursuing a trial rather than a plea agreement that could have resulted in a lower sanction. I did not understand the criminal justice system or the options that were available to me. Because of that ignorance, I made choices that resulted in much stiffer penalties.
Since I have been in prison I have worked hard and consistently to reconcile with society for the bad decisions I made. I also strive to help others who are about to encounter the criminal justice system or prison. By reading my writings, I hope to help those individuals make better decisions.