As I’ve described in previous articles about visiting rules, staff members are quite specific about how much affection prisoners can extend to their visitors. Carole and I have been nurturing our love through our visiting privileges since 2002. The rules authorize us to embrace and to kiss at the start and end of each visit. In all but two prisons we’ve been allowed to hold hands throughout our visit. Three of the five prisons where we’ve visited have allowed me to drape my arm around Carole during the visit.

Staff members are always present in the room when we’re visiting, but there are moments when we can feel comfortable in stealing an extra kiss. I should say that I feel more comfortable than Carole. She is really vigilant about observing the rules. We both cherish our visiting privileges, but sometimes I’m incapable of restraining myself and lean closer to kiss her, either on the cheek or on the lips. The kisses are never inappropriate as far as I’m concerned, as in the world, it is normal for a man to kiss the woman he loves.

I never allow my hands to wander inappropriately, and the extra kisses I give to Carole during our visits never amount to more than the affection I would express if we were in a public restaurant. The visiting room is the only place we can share together until my release, so I cannot behave in a way that could result in our further separation.

Other prisoners are not always so respectful of the rules. Carole and I have been visiting in three prisons where some prisoners regularly had sexual relations with their visitors. In one prison, the room was as crowded as a busy bus terminal. Four guards patrolled the room, and two surveillance cameras recorded the visits. Children were present. Despite the inappropriateness, we saw a man having sexual intercourse with his wife in a corner; we’ve seen women performing oral sex on their visitors as they hid beneath bobbing jackets.

When I transferred to minimum-security camps, we saw more sexual relations between prisoners and visitors. The guards sometimes caught prisoners in the act, and other times prisoners were caught because the family members of other prisoners reported the disrespectful behavior. No civilized person wanted sexual relations taking place where children were walking around freely, but some prisoners and their visitors lacked a sense of propriety. Last month, a former businessman who had graduated from an Ivy League school was cited for having sexual relations with his wife in the visiting room. Sanctions will keep him locked in segregation for a few months, and he will be transferred for disciplinary reasons to a higher security prison. He also will lose visiting and telephone privileges for several months.

The consequences for violating visiting rules sting. Carole and I do not place our visiting privileges in peril.

The post Sex in Prison Visiting Rooms appeared first on Prison News Blog.

More than five years have passed since Carole and I married, yet our romance continues to thrive. The reason for our growing love affair, I am convinced, lies in the deep commitment we have made to each other’s life. I am totally into my relationship with Carole, and she demonstrates time and again that she is totally into her relationship with me. Our love affair amazes many, as Carole and I have never shared more physical intimacy than the kisses we exchange at the beginning of every visit, and at the conclusion of each visit.

Both of us understood the challenges of what we were building. I still had more than ten years of prison ahead of me when Carole and I married. That meant Carole would have to accept the continuous upheaval of my life if she wanted to build forever with me. She moved from her comfort zone in Oregon to a new community in Fort Dix, New Jersey, where I was confined so that we could visit regularly. One year after her move to a community where she did not know anyone else, administrators relocated me to a prison in Colorado. Carole packed her belongings and moved to the prison town where I was confined in Florence. After 18 months in Florence, administrators moved me to California. Carole made the transition again. We both placed our marriage as our highest priority, and that meant we had to make every effort to stay as close as possible.

To love each other through all of the complications that come with imprisonment, Carole and I must commit to each other time and again. People who live together fall out of love because they take each other for granted. They fail to communicate their hopes and dreams after a while. Rather than nurturing love through expressions of the heart, couples rely only on sexuality. Although I do not deny that sex should play an integral part of a love affair, when there is nothing more than sex, relationships can wither. Carole and I may not enjoy the privilege of a sexual relationship, yet we have our hopes, dreams, and commitment to each other that powers us through the struggles.

Carole and I have built a history together that ties us ways that other couples lack. She has made it possible for me to reach beyond boundaries to build a career as a writer. Through our work together, we have made meaningful contributions to society. Our work as husband and wife has enabled Carole to earn an income, and with that income, she has been able to earn a degree in nursing. Her nursing degree now enables us to save and make investments toward the future that we are building together. Every day, we create more ties that bind us closer. That is the privilege of our love.

Because of Carole, I have a life that few other long-term prisoners ever know. She is close enough to visit at every opportunity. I am severely restricted to the telephone by prison rules, but I devote every privilege I have to her. Together we are focused on the life we are creating, on the future we will enjoy as husband and wife. Both of us look forward with eager anticipation to my release.

In many ways, freedom came to me with Carole’s love. I may have had to serve an additional decade before we could consummate our marriage physically, yet every day that she has been in my life has been a blessing. I thank God every night before I sleep, and every morning when I wake. My wife has brought an incredible sense of meaning and value to my life, and I am grateful for every breath she has given me. At the same time, I have felt empowered by the love that flows so effortlessly from her to me.

Carole and I are now in our mid-forties. Perhaps an Obama administration will preside over changes that could bring me home sooner. Either way, we know that my release will come no later than our late forties. We are committed to building the rest of our lives together, and we both embrace the joy in knowing that soon we will live together as husband and wife.

For me, the thought of living outside of prison boundaries is surreal, and I cannot imagine the changes that freedom will bring to my life as easily as Carole can. She describes to me how we will share our lives together. After more than 21 years of imprisonment, those thoughts are akin to looking through a magazine of celebrity lifestyles. I know we will build our lives together, but it is sometimes a challenge for me to think of life outside of these boundaries.

Despite the challenges that will come, I feel certain that my commitment to Carole will strengthen with my release. She has been my oxygen, my lifeline to the world. I feel so at one with her, that freedom has no meaning to me if I cannot share my life with Carole.

I am committed to spending every day of my life, in prison and upon my release, working to prove myself worthy of the love she has given to me. Our total commitment to each other’s dreams and hopes is what makes our marriage thrive. In time, Carole and I will work together to help others reach their own highest potential.

Because of my magnificent and beautiful wife, I have no struggles with love, and I am eager to begin living with her upon my release from prison.

The post Love affair grows in a prison marriage based on love and commitment appeared first on Prison News Blog.

Prisons are unnatural environments. Rules may be necessary to preserve the security of the institution. Yet when men and women are locked inside the same walls, and artificial conditions exist that place female staff members in the close company of male prisoners, or vice versa, human nature sometimes trumps rules.

I don’t think any correctional officers walk into a prison thinking that they will engage in inappropriate relationships with the prisoners. They take jobs because they want to build stable careers, they want to earn an honest paycheck and enjoy the health benefits and pension that comes with government employment. The culture of the prison then demonizes the prisoners. Staff members who become too friendly with prisoners may be labeled with the pejorative term “inmate lover,” or “hug-a-thug.” Staff does everything possible to ensure that clear lines exist between those who work in prisons and those who serve time in prisons.

Yet, prisoners are human beings. Those who are not devoted or committed to a specific purpose focus on living in prison. Sometimes, a female staff member can become that focus. Likewise, the female staff member has needs that are outside the scope of her career. She may feel neglected at home. She may long for attention, affection, and love. By working in close proximity with a specific prisoner, she may develop the natural feelings that exist between a man and a woman; those feelings may cause her to see the prisoner more like a man, despite the uniform he wears. When that happens, the female staff member may throw off unmistakable or subtle signals that she is receptive to romance.

I may have been incarcerated for more than 21 years, but those signals between a man and a woman are instinctual, and neither prison rules nor career aspirations are going to block them.

In summary, I think prisoners are more likely to make the first move to seduce a female guard. Yet since they know the consequences for unwanted overtures may be severe, they will likely be guarded. If the female staff member is receptive, she will find the way to let the prisoner understand her intentions. Sparks of love may flow from either side. If discovered, however, consequences can be severe. I describe those consequences through articles available at criminal-indictment.com and in this post about sexual encounters with prison staff.

The post Who initiates Sex between Prisoners and Guards? appeared first on Prison News Blog.

Many people in society have heard the stereotypical myths regarding prison life. Today’s reality television depicts chaotic environments where violence prevails. I lived for years in such environments. My imprisonment began more than 21 years ago, and during that time, I’ve learned a lot about living in prison.

My experience has been that prisons extinguish hope. Rather than governing through the promise of incentives, prison administrators rely exclusively on the threat of punishments. People who live inside prisons have no mechanism through which they can work toward redemption. Although numerous classification techniques exist to measure bad behavior and to raise a prisoner’s security level, there are no paths a prisoner can pursue to improve his classification. The only way to reduce his security classification is to avoid trouble while watching calendar pages turn. That is a problem in the system because it fails to motivate people. Rather than striving to reconcile with society and preparing to emerge as contributing citizens, many prisoners focus on enhancing their power structure while living in the abnormal world of prison.

Prison rapists do not consider themselves gay. They may refer to their prey as “bitches,” “punks,” or other pejorative names. Yet their primary motivation is to cultivate a reputation as being powerful and feared. They demean those whom they “turn out,” and in no way respect them as a man may respect a woman. The victim is referred to as a female, though gender is not so much a factor. The victim is really dehumanized and demoralized.

When a rapist develops his reputation, he may continue to engage in sexual relationships with other males, yet the rapist never considers himself gay. To him, being gay is equivalent to being a sissy. Prisoners who were strictly heterosexual in the real world may engage in sexual acts with other males in prison without raping them, yet many of them also deny that they are gay. All homosexual activity in prison is considered a weakness within the general population, as prisoners are notoriously intolerant.

Administrators could lessen the perils of prison atmospheres if they were to govern these institutions more like America, where people can advance their standing through merit and good deeds. As long as prisons extinguish hope, they will continue to breed failure and hostility.

The post Prison culture encourages prison rape appeared first on Prison News Blog.

An Internet search on the subject would yield disturbing results. Around the same time that publishers were bringing Inside to market, a prison scandal at the federal prison in Tallahassee described a sex ring that officers were running. The male guards induced the female prisoners into sexual acts by offering them contraband like perfume, alcohol, and other items that were off limits for prisoners. When the female prisoners wanted to opt out of the sexual relationships, the guards threatened them with retaliation.

One of the female prisoners began cooperating with authorities. Agents from the FBI stormed the prison in an effort to arrest the federal corrections officers. A shoot out ensued. One of the guards and at least one federal officer was killed. Several of the other participating guards were taken into custody. The incident made front-page news in The New York Times.

During the more than 21 years that I have served, I have been confined in several institutions where female guards were arrested and prosecuted for having sexual relationships with male prisoners. Such behavior is not an every-day occurrence, though staff members discover such acts every few months. When prisoners are separated from society for years or decades at a time, they form their own societies inside prison boundaries. The staff members who are charged with the responsibility of overseeing them sometimes interact with the prisoners in ways that officials deem inappropriate. Those relationships can lead to corruption. Yet they seem to be a natural part of the prison experience, as I’ve seen and written about many such interactions such as my blog post Sexual Encounters with Prison Staff. That blog post focuses more on consensual and love based sexual relations between inmates and prison staff.

Those who want to learn more about the prison experience and steps they may take to avoid problems while serving time may find some value in the articles included in the topical report series titled Understanding Prison.

The post Inappropriate Sexual Relationships in Prison appeared first on Prison News Blog.

One reader of the book wrote to ask how such a sexual orgy was possible in a high security prison. The reader felt as though someone should have been on patrol to help the weaker prisoners. She questioned how prisoners could get away with such behavior in a high-security prison.

High security prisons are dangerous places. They are dangerous because more than 1,000 prisoners are locked inside concrete and steel human warehouses, and administrative policies extinguish hope for the men inside. Administrators rely on surveillance cameras, metal detectors, locked gates and doors, as well as correctional officers to maintain security in the penitentiary. Yet the prisoners are locked inside the institutions for years, or even decades at a time. They know where the blind spots are. They know when the officers will make rounds and the prisoners develop a sense of who is weak and vulnerable. Like any predator, they can spot the easy prey.

Prison policy makers can post memorandums that encourage weak inmates to seek assistance from staff. Yet those platitudes miss the dynamics of penitentiary life. Prisoners who seek assistance from staff in high-security penitentiaries risk retaliation from those in the prison community who adhere to the tacit convict code. Once a prisoner is saddled with the snitch label, other prisoners will ride him for the duration of his sentence. Prisoners who are forced to serve their sentences in high security prisons should accept a viper pit, and use all of their creativity to persuade administrators that they are worthy candidates for reductions in their classification status.

I served longer than 16 years in higher security prisons before staff members transferred me to minimum-security camp. My disciplined adjustment enabled me to thrive through my prison term and avoid a single altercation with others. Whereas the two victims I described in my book engaged in activities that made them vulnerable, I recognized that the dangerous environment of prison required that I avoid interactions with those who courted trouble. Living a goal-centered adjustment enabled me to prepare for release while simultaneously avoiding problems in prison.

The post Why Can’t Guards Stop Prison Rape? appeared first on Prison News Blog.

I have been confined in prisons of every security level, and in every security level I have known female staff members who engaged in sexual acts with prisoners. Many have been prosecuted for their actions. Yet I know some staff members who were never discovered. One friend of mine had a relationship with a nurse who worked at a prison. She resigned from her job once other staff members began to suspect the sexual relationship she was having with my friend. The couple was later married.

One reader asked how I felt about female guards who engaged in personal relationships with prisoners. The reader was a criminal justice student, and I suspect that she drew a clear distinction between correctional officers and prisoners. Although I understood her concerns about preserving the security of prisons, from my perspective prisons serve as breeding grounds for failure and corruption; high recidivism rates support my premise.

According to my perspective, God created us all as human beings. When men and women come together, the possibility exists for them to build relationships. Although such relationships may be contrary to prison design, they are consistent with God’s design. I am opposed to prison rules. It is wrong, I think, to separate men from women for years or decades at a time. Such unnatural environments cause more harm than good. If a man in prison succeeds in building a relationship with a woman, regardless of where she works, I am convinced the man will have more rather than less reason to prepare for a contributory life. That is why I would not judge a prison guard who developed a relationship with a prisoner.

During the 21 years that I have served in prison, I have never had an inappropriate relationship with a staff member. I did, however, fall in love and marry a magnificent woman. Had she worked for a prison where I was confined, I would have loved her just the same.

My allegiance is not to a system that cultivates failure.

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