I meet many prisoners, however, whose wives did not sign up for a prison term, as Carole did. For them, the challenges are more difficult. Open communication and constant nurturing have worked for Carole and me. I am confident that the efforts we have made and continue to make to tie and link our lives together is what keeps our marriage strong.

Last year I read a career-building book by Marshall Goldsmith. Mr. Goldsmith is a well-known executive coach who wrote What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. In that book, the author suggested that the steps an executive must take to advance his career during the formative years differed from the steps he would have to take to reach the highest levels of leadership. In courses I’ve taught in prison, I frequently referenced Mr. Goldsmith’s work. I feel convinced that the lessons don’t only apply to career building, but to staining a marriage or relationship through the adversity of confinement as well.

Carole and I have thrived through seven years of my confinement together because we continuously work on understanding each other and fulfilling the needs of each other. During the beginning of our relationship, we both understood that we had to create stability. We worked together as a team to generate the resources necessary for Carole to earn credentials that would ensure her stability. We chose nursing. With that focus, we expected that we could always be close enough to nurture our marriage through visits, regardless of where administrators confined me. Carole is my family, my every breath.

Weekly visits would not be enough to carry us through the many years we had to serve. Through regular correspondence, meaning daily letters, we made plans together, measured progress together, shared dreams together, worked through problems together. I anticipated Carole’s needs and worked to help resolve them before she had to ask; I felt her commitment to do the same for me. These were the continuous investments each of us to do the same for me. These were the continuous investments each of us made to keep the passion, romance, and commitment alive in our marriage, despite our having to wait years to enjoy more physical intimacy than kisses under the bright lights of a prison visiting room.

What brought us through the first seven years of our magnificent relationship, however, differs from what we build now. We’re in the final stretch, and although we both continue to grow closer by anticipating the needs of the other, we’re also focusing more intently on preparing for the challenges that await my release. We’re focusing on building our savings. We’re focusing on preparing for my career rather than Carole’s career. We’re working harder than ever before.

The greatest blessing God has given me has been Carole’s love. I feel grateful for every second I have with her. My commitment to her and to our marriage is what drives and inspires my adjustment. It is the reason I exercise, the reason I devote so many hours to writing, and the reason behind the books I read. I feel a duty, an obligation to prove worthy of the love and commitment she gives to me. That can never stop. I will always strive to give her more. These are the strategies that allow our marriage to thrive through imprisonment.

The post Nurturing My Marriage Through Prison appeared first on Prison News Blog.

Readers with a spouse in prison understand the challenge of sustaining a marriage through imprisonment. Nurturing love over time does not happen by accident under any circumstances, but when imprisonment separates the couple, each partner must invest time, energy, and creativity to keep the romance alive. Carole’s total devotion to our family enriches my life in ways that negate the pains of imprisonment. She fulfills me, and she brings a love that liberates and inspires me to work toward becoming a better man. Carole is my reason for wanting freedom.

Other prisoners sometimes ask how I keep my marriage alive and growing while I serve a lengthy prison term. I give all the credit to Carole, as she carries the burdens of my imprisonment without complaint, helping me to focus on the reality that each day brings us closer to that magical moment when we will begin living together. I recognize that my imprisonment is much harder on her than it is on me. She lives in the world, without companionship or support, yet she works hard to help prepare for my release, and wakes early each Friday to relieve all of my problems with the freshness of her kiss. Carole has not committed a crime, but because of her love, she serves this sentence with me.

I don’t know how many months or years still separate me from living with Carole, but even though I’ve been incarcerated, her love has made these past years we’ve shared together the best of my life. With an eagerness and enthusiasm, I look forward to exceeding all of Carole’s expectations as her husband. I give her all that I have, all that I am, and all that I will become. Her love is worth it, and I look forward to marrying her again when I walk out from these prison boundaries.

The post Our Sixth Anniversary in Prison appeared first on Prison News Blog.

 Re: Michael G. Santos, #16377-004

Dear President Obama:

I write this letter in support of the Petition for Commutation of Sentence submitted by my husband, Michael G. Santos, federal registration number 16377-004.

President Obama, you will find no better candidate deserving of a Presidential commutation.  Michael lives as an extraordinary example of leadership, of hope, and of accomplishment despite the adversity and obstacles erected by the prison system. Michael deserves to have his petition granted. He is well prepared to lead a law-abiding, contributing life as a taxpaying citizen.

Michael has been imprisoned since 1987. During the past 21-plus years of his confinement, he has built an extraordinary record of accomplishments that is unmatched by any other prison inmate. He educated himself, earning both undergraduate and graduate degrees. He is a respected contributor to academia, and a published author of six books describing prisons, the people they hold, and strategies for growing through confinement. Michael writes about the need for those who are in prison to accept responsibility, to make amends with society, and to earn their freedom by preparing for a contributing, law-abiding life upon re-entry to society.

Michael is a different man today than he was in 1987. His commitment to values, to discipline, and his efforts to grow into the best human being possible motivate and inspire those around him as well as those who study his work. With determination and discipline, his commitment to contribute to society-despite two decades of confinement in prison-is evident in everything he thinks, everything he says, and everything he does. Michael receives hundreds of letters and electronic messages from university students, leaders in business, leaders in society, academic scholars, citizens of America, and citizens of the world that are written in support of his efforts to earn his release from prison.

Michael is now 45-years old. He embodies the concept of rehabilitation in tangible ,extraordinary, and incomparable ways. He is no longer a reckless twenty-two-year old. In me, he has a loving, supportive wife. His family has remained by his side throughout his imprisonment, and the expansive network of academic, professional, and community support he continues to attract during his confinement includes solid offers for employment upon his release. We all will be there to assist him upon his release.

What benefit to society and to taxpayers is achieved by Michael’s continued confinement? Please grant my husband a Presidential commutation so that he may come home now.

Yours truly,

Carole Santos

The post An Open Letter to President Obama from a Prison Wife appeared first on Prison News Blog.

Throughout my prison adjustment I’ve thought about the steps I could take to earn a living after my release. I began serving my prison term when I was 23 and my lengthy sentence suggested that I would remain incarcerated until my late 40s. By working to educate myself I hoped to create opportunities that would lead to a meaningful life. The one thing I knew was that I would not want to return to prison once I was released. I made all decisions pertaining to my prison adjustment with hopes of preparing for the challenges that awaited me.

I had never been confined before, so I didn’t know what type of obstacles I would face. The responsibility would be mine to overcome them. My prosecution and imprisonment had resulted in the loss of all my belongings. I knew that meant I would leave prison without financial resources, clothing, or shelter. Now I am advancing to within three or four years of my release, and the economic crisis suggests many challenges await me.

I heard a commentator on CNBC announce that more than 24 million people were out of work in our country. Although economists predict the recovery is beginning, and we should resume growth in 2010, I still see reports of tent cities in Sacramento, Phoenix, Seattle, and other metropolitan areas. The unemployment rate for California is even higher than the national average, at more than 10 percent.

As a newly released long-term prisoner who does not have a work history, I may not find a job upon release. In fact, I’m preparing for that likelihood. Instead of searching for work, I’m trying to position myself for a career as a writer/speaker/consultant and teacher. My loving wife, Carole, helps me work toward this vision. We visit each week and together we plan for such a career.

Through my writing, Carole and I have earned an income that was sufficient to support her through nursing school. That was a plan and investment we made as a team to ensure our family would have stability. Carole works as a nurse now, and she will maintain the earning capacity to sustain our family as I work to establish my career.

Between now and my release date, I will work every day to enhance my chances for success. Soon I may submit another book proposal to my literary agent, as I want to have a new book ready for release when I walk out from prison boundaries. I must continue this prison adjustment of preparation, as I know the responsibility is mine to triumph over the challenges that await me. Carole is my inspiration, and through the work we do together, I feel confident that we will build our happiness to enjoy through the fall and winter seasons of our life. Our loving marriage is not an accident, but a deliberate choice we make each day.

The post Preparing for Happiness Through Adversity appeared first on Prison News Blog.

The U.S. Congress made specific findings in The Second Chance Act. One of those findings was that prison administrators fail to make effective use of the family structure to prepare offenders for re-entry. The obstacles that prison culture erects to block family and community ties play a significant role in influencing high recidivism rates.

Jon-Daniel, a bright criminal justice student, asked how society could implement reforms that would strengthen family ties. It would be simple. Administrators could simply provide prisoners with more access to speak with family members over the telephone. The 300-minutes per month BOP phone policy limits prisoners to speaking on the phone for an average of less than 10 minutes per day.

As Jon-Daniel observed in his comment, prison makes it difficult to nurture marital bonds. I am a long-term prisoner, and as such I must invest myself totally in my relationship with Carole. She serves this prison term along with me, and struggles every day as a consequence of the oppressive prison rules that block family ties.

To overcome the challenges of confinement, I must make every effort possible to nurture and sustain my marriage to Carole. That means I must reserve all of my telephone and visiting privileges for her. As a consequence of forcing me to prioritize how I will use my minimal access to family ties, prison policies cause me to sacrifice my relationships with extended family members. This absurdity contributes to high recidivism rates and higher prison operating costs. Prisoners who have strong family ties are more likely to adjust in positive ways. Those who lack strong family ties are more susceptible to the negative influences of the prison. They join gangs and engage in disruption.

 Administrators could implement prison reforms that would offer prisoners access to more privileges and mechanisms that would help them strengthen family ties. They could offer privileges as incentives, making the privileges conditional upon positive adjustment patterns. For example, by educating himself, working, and avoiding disciplinary infractions, a prisoner ought to earn more access to family. Administrators could dispense telephone access, visiting privileges, even e-mail to prisoners who demonstrate a commitment to redemption. Those changes would bring many advantages, including:

*lower recidivism rates

*lower incidences of gang corruption

*lower prison operating costs

*safer communities

*stronger family ties

Incentives would improve America’s prison system.

The post Utilize the Family Structure to Prepare Offenders for Re-entry appeared first on Prison News Blog.

That wasn’t a subject I usually thought about. I am now in my 22nd year of continuous confinement, and I rarely meet a prisoner who has served more time than me. I received a question from John, however, and he asked whether I thought about what my life would be like if I had not been convicted. When I read John’s question, rather than thinking about my own predicament, I thought about the lives of the millions of Americans who languish inside of prisons.

The Pew Report suggests that our country relies on imprisonment far too much. In my own case, I serve a lengthy sentence on account of my convictions for having distributed cocaine. I do not have a history of violence or previous imprisonment, but I was guilty of the crimes for which I was charged.

I read a recent blog suggesting that Governor Patterson, of New York, intends to lead legislation that will abandon the lengthy sentences imposed under the notorious Rockefeller Drug Laws. Perhaps we will see similar reforms in the federal system. If not, I expect to serve between three and four more years.

In my case, I cannot imagine a life outside of prison. To do so would be akin to imagining my life if I were a woman, or if I were reared in Australia, or some other unknown concept. I’ve been a prisoner all my adult life. Sometimes I feel as if I’ll always be a prisoner of some sort. I look forward to release, but for now, I feel as if I’m where God intends me to be.

John asked other questions about my marriage to Carole. I responded to those in a separate post, under Maintaining a Thriving Marriage from Prison.

The post If I Weren’t a Prisoner appeared first on Prison News Blog.

Jessica is a criminal justice student who asked several questions about my prison adjustment. I’ll respond through separate posts, but I begin with her questions about my marriage to Carole. I began preparing for my marriage to Carole many years before she came into my life. In some ways, it feels as if my entire prison adjustment was about preparing myself for love.

I entered prison when I was 23, and the sentence I received made it abundantly clear that I would serve many years inside. I didn’t know how long I would serve, but I knew that I wanted to adjust in a way that would make me a viable candidate to attract the love of a woman. I did not want to live alone. Knowing that, I thought about what I would have to achieve in order to overcome the stigma of my confinement. Those musings led me to commit to education, to fitness, to character development. Although I was locked in a community of men, I thought about the marriage I wanted and the kind of husband I wanted to become to the woman who eventually would come into my life. After 15 years of imprisonment, God blessed me with Carole.

She was my inspiration even before our romance began. Together we have created a story that empowers me to endure the challenges that complicate the lives of so many other prisoners. As the Second Chance Act shows, most prisoners lack the family and community support that Carole and I work so hard to build. We are a team, true partners, married in every way.

Because I have always been preparing for Carole, I’ve never considered a negative adjustment. She was always my pursuit, to live as a great husband to her. The complications of confinement of our life separate us physically, though our marriage brings us closer in other ways. Carole is an extraordinary wife, my inspiration to live as a better man. I strive to emulate her strength every day, as her commitment is a virtue I admire. I don’t know anyone who could walk in her shoes.

Prisons are dehumanizing not because of their physical conditions, but because of the emotional afflictions they induce. They cause unnecessary harm on families by erecting barriers that obstruct communications. Carole and I are prohibited from visiting more than once each week and rules limit us to fewer than 10 minutes of telephone time on average per day. Prisons have required that Carole and I overcome many obstacles, including several transfers. We persevere because of a commitment we make to nurture our marriage each day. Prisons do not facilitate family ties, we know, so we must work harder. We love with enthusiasm, each with a readiness to give more. That commitment is why our marriage thrives.

The post Maintaining A Thriving Marriage From Prison appeared first on Prison News Blog.

More than five years have passed since Carole and I married, yet our romance continues to thrive. The reason for our growing love affair, I am convinced, lies in the deep commitment we have made to each other’s life. I am totally into my relationship with Carole, and she demonstrates time and again that she is totally into her relationship with me. Our love affair amazes many, as Carole and I have never shared more physical intimacy than the kisses we exchange at the beginning of every visit, and at the conclusion of each visit.

Both of us understood the challenges of what we were building. I still had more than ten years of prison ahead of me when Carole and I married. That meant Carole would have to accept the continuous upheaval of my life if she wanted to build forever with me. She moved from her comfort zone in Oregon to a new community in Fort Dix, New Jersey, where I was confined so that we could visit regularly. One year after her move to a community where she did not know anyone else, administrators relocated me to a prison in Colorado. Carole packed her belongings and moved to the prison town where I was confined in Florence. After 18 months in Florence, administrators moved me to California. Carole made the transition again. We both placed our marriage as our highest priority, and that meant we had to make every effort to stay as close as possible.

To love each other through all of the complications that come with imprisonment, Carole and I must commit to each other time and again. People who live together fall out of love because they take each other for granted. They fail to communicate their hopes and dreams after a while. Rather than nurturing love through expressions of the heart, couples rely only on sexuality. Although I do not deny that sex should play an integral part of a love affair, when there is nothing more than sex, relationships can wither. Carole and I may not enjoy the privilege of a sexual relationship, yet we have our hopes, dreams, and commitment to each other that powers us through the struggles.

Carole and I have built a history together that ties us ways that other couples lack. She has made it possible for me to reach beyond boundaries to build a career as a writer. Through our work together, we have made meaningful contributions to society. Our work as husband and wife has enabled Carole to earn an income, and with that income, she has been able to earn a degree in nursing. Her nursing degree now enables us to save and make investments toward the future that we are building together. Every day, we create more ties that bind us closer. That is the privilege of our love.

Because of Carole, I have a life that few other long-term prisoners ever know. She is close enough to visit at every opportunity. I am severely restricted to the telephone by prison rules, but I devote every privilege I have to her. Together we are focused on the life we are creating, on the future we will enjoy as husband and wife. Both of us look forward with eager anticipation to my release.

In many ways, freedom came to me with Carole’s love. I may have had to serve an additional decade before we could consummate our marriage physically, yet every day that she has been in my life has been a blessing. I thank God every night before I sleep, and every morning when I wake. My wife has brought an incredible sense of meaning and value to my life, and I am grateful for every breath she has given me. At the same time, I have felt empowered by the love that flows so effortlessly from her to me.

Carole and I are now in our mid-forties. Perhaps an Obama administration will preside over changes that could bring me home sooner. Either way, we know that my release will come no later than our late forties. We are committed to building the rest of our lives together, and we both embrace the joy in knowing that soon we will live together as husband and wife.

For me, the thought of living outside of prison boundaries is surreal, and I cannot imagine the changes that freedom will bring to my life as easily as Carole can. She describes to me how we will share our lives together. After more than 21 years of imprisonment, those thoughts are akin to looking through a magazine of celebrity lifestyles. I know we will build our lives together, but it is sometimes a challenge for me to think of life outside of these boundaries.

Despite the challenges that will come, I feel certain that my commitment to Carole will strengthen with my release. She has been my oxygen, my lifeline to the world. I feel so at one with her, that freedom has no meaning to me if I cannot share my life with Carole.

I am committed to spending every day of my life, in prison and upon my release, working to prove myself worthy of the love she has given to me. Our total commitment to each other’s dreams and hopes is what makes our marriage thrive. In time, Carole and I will work together to help others reach their own highest potential.

Because of my magnificent and beautiful wife, I have no struggles with love, and I am eager to begin living with her upon my release from prison.

The post Love affair grows in a prison marriage based on love and commitment appeared first on Prison News Blog.

Some of the men who are locked in ADX cells will serve the rest of their lives without much to stimulate their senses. Although many of the ADX prisoners have been convicted of crimes that other citizens would consider reprehensible, I do not doubt that the men inside of those cells miss being a part of humanity.

In high security prisons, conditions are more open than in the supermax. Yet prisoners inside those oppressive atmospheres live without hope. They serve long sentences, sometimes without any possibility for release. Since they cannot envision ways in which they can distinguish themselves in positive ways, some look for opportunities to distinguish themselves inside the twisted world of prison. They become more violent, or psychopathic. They cannot hope to play meaningful roles in the lives of their family or society. Consequently, they join cliques or gangs; they engage in hustles or try to narcotize themselves through the time. Some whose prior decisions forced them serve their sentences in high-security prisons miss the feeling of safety, or living without the thick pressure of evil that seems to pervade the penitentiary.

In both medium-security and low-security prisons, prisoners have a bit more hope. Many have release dates that they can at least grasp. The release date may stretch out for ten or twenty years, yet at least they can see a glimmer of hope. Prisoners in those institutions sometimes fight to hang on to memories of the lives they led prior to prison. They miss the world. They are not always ready to embrace the prison culture completely because they believe that something will change. They miss their families, their freedom, the ability to feel as if they are independent men.

In minimum-security camp, all prisoners are within 10 years of their release dates. The atmosphere is much less oppressive. Significant portions of the camp population are within weeks or months of release. With the rapid turnover in the camp population, prisoners miss their freedom. Yet they can see that it will come.

During the 21 years that I have served so far, I have missed all that others take for granted. Prison has become a part of me, yet I have never stopped working to prepare myself. I am determined to emerge successfully, unscathed by the experience. What I miss most is my wife. I want to kiss her and hold her and sleep with her and love her. I want her to feel proud of me, to let her know that she has been the inspiration for every breath I have taken through prison. I miss her touch, and I work daily to prove myself worthy of the love and sacrifices she so freely gives to me.

The post What Prisoners Miss Most appeared first on Prison News Blog.

Maintaining a love affair through confinement requires a major commitment from both parties. Carole and I nurture our marriage in myriad ways. We strengthen our ties by setting goals that we work toward together. Every step we take now is to strengthen our bonds, while simultaneously preparing for the magnificent marriage we will enjoy upon my release. We are a team in the truest sense of the word.

Carole returned to my life in 2002. She was living in Oregon and I was confined in Fort Dix, New Jersey. She moved to New Jersey because she recognized the importance of visiting with me regularly. I still had more than ten years to serve when Carole joined me, and we understood that I was vulnerable to being transferred out of state at any time. In order to prepare for the disruptions that would accompany my transfers, Carole returned to school and began studying toward a nursing degree. We understood the importance of stability, and a nursing credential would allow Carole to earn a respectable wage wherever I was confined. Besides that, as a nurse, Carole could organize a work schedule that would allow us to visit at every possible opportunity.

My wife and I worked together in every way. She made it possible for me to begin preparing for a career as a writer, and all earnings that resulted from my work went to support her through school. She relocated every time administrators transferred me. From Oregon to New Jersey to Colorado to California. Together, we are preparing for my release.

We keep romance alive through regular correspondence. I devote all of my allotted telephone time to her, and all of my visiting hours to her. We’re both “all in” this relationship. And because of the commitment we make to each other, our marriage continues to thrive. Indeed, my love, respect, and pride for her is even more powerful now, after all these years, than it was the first time that we kissed in 1982. Those who want to read more about our marriage in prison and our growing love affair may have an interest in reading the article about Our Marriage in Prison.

The post Marriage in Prison appeared first on Prison News Blog.