News FeedMarriage in Prison
Frequently I receive letters from readers who’ve read my books about prison adjustments. One letter that I received today asked me questions about how I met my wife Carole, about how we married in a prison visiting room, and about how we have cultivated our love through all of the tribulations and turmoil that are part of confinement. The lady who wrote me has a boyfriend in prison, and she was looking for guidance on how to sustain her relationship.
Maintaining a love affair through confinement requires a major commitment from both parties. Carole and I nurture our marriage in myriad ways. We strengthen our ties by setting goals that we work toward together. Every step we take now is to strengthen our bonds, while simultaneously preparing for the magnificent marriage we will enjoy upon my release. We are a team in the truest sense of the word.
Carole returned to my life in 2002. She was living in Oregon and I was confined in Fort Dix, New Jersey. She moved to New Jersey because she recognized the importance of visiting with me regularly. I still had more than ten years to serve when Carole joined me, and we understood that I was vulnerable to being transferred out of state at any time. In order to prepare for the disruptions that would accompany my transfers, Carole returned to school and began studying toward a nursing degree. We understood the importance of stability, and a nursing credential would allow Carole to earn a respectable wage wherever I was confined. Besides that, as a nurse, Carole could organize a work schedule that would allow us to visit at every possible opportunity.
My wife and I worked together in every way. She made it possible for me to begin preparing for a career as a writer, and all earnings that resulted from my work went to support her through school. She relocated every time administrators transferred me. From Oregon to New Jersey to Colorado to California. Together, we are preparing for my release.
We keep romance alive through regular correspondence. I devote all of my allotted telephone time to her, and all of my visiting hours to her. We’re both “all in” this relationship. And because of the commitment we make to each other, our marriage continues to thrive. Indeed, my love, respect, and pride for her is even more powerful now, after all these years, than it was the first time that we kissed in 1982. Those who want to read more about our marriage in prison and our growing love affair may have an interest in reading the article about Our Marriage in Prison.
You drive me to tears for, and hope in the spirit of modern man. Thank you Micheael. I’m a college teacher in India. I used your story to stimulate critical thinking among my students. May God sustain you, Carole and all who provide you with support.
Warm regards,
Santhosh Ebrooo